Check On Perspective

It is safe to say that last night was a difficult night. I have found I’m beginning to regret knowing the exact number of days until I head home, knowing that instead of a summer filled with wedding planning ahead of me, I have a summer filled with many difficult moments. And I admit it feels as if it is approaching more rapidly with each passing day.

As I lay there last night trying to fall asleep, I could feel how broken and how hurt my heart was. I’ll take this moment to state for the record that it was not a pretty feeling. I was getting frustrated and even upset that I am walking through this season. I was beginning to wonder where God’s protection and provision was in my life that I could be in this season at all. Life hadn’t come through for me like I expected it to. All the ways I had been waiting on God to prove Himself faithful, to step in and to provide for me hadn’t happen. In fact, just the opposite had happened. Instead of holding on through the circumstances, I was told to let go. Instead of fighting through and trusting Him to provide what was needed, I was asked to step back. And I was very confused.

Then I felt the Lord speak softly to my heart. I got this picture in my mind of me laying there on the top bunk of my bed at the seminary with the Lord’s wing of protection over me. It wasn’t touching me and I couldn’t feel it, but I could see it. I knew that it was there.

I began to realize that though my circumstance was not something I would have chosen, I was right where I needed to be. Though I was confused, hurt, and disappointed that my mind could not wrap itself around how I found myself in this season, it did not mean I wasn’t being provided for. Just because the protection wasn’t how I had imagined it would be didn’t mean that it was nonexistent. And for that moment, though it felt completely exposed to the elements of life, on that uncomfortable, unstable, lofted bed my heart was in the safest place it could be in all the earth.

I guess the point that I am really trying to make here is that just because we cannot see the protection or the provision doesn’t mean it isn’t happening... Could it even be that in what feels like some of our darkest moments, we are actually entering the light? Just because we didn’t get the happy ending we envisioned to our circumstance doesn’t mean that one doesn’t exist. Rather it may simply be quite different and farther down the path than we originally believed it to be.

Be willing to believe in something you cannot see in the moment. Regardless of where it is that you find yourself, trust the process. It will undoubtedly have seasons of pain and I can promise you that. But my challenge to you is to walk through your life understanding that your perspective of your circumstance is not the only perspective.