Deeper

Lately the Lord has been calling me deeper. And by that, I mean that He wants more of me, He desires to spend more time with me, to fill an even larger role in my life, etc. I want to know more of His character, to understand Him better, and to love Him on a different level, but I've realized something...

When I was in Israel, I was living the Bible in real time (or at least it felt like that). There has never been another experience like it in my life. The Lord was my entire day. I literally ate, slept, and breathed the Word and all that it meant. And to sit here in Springfield, MO and simply read the Bible just doesn't seem to compare to walking through the Old City or through the ruins of the city of Jericho or around Samaria.

The point is this: I've never felt so consistently so close to God for so long. Ever. And because that experience isn't the same here at Evangel while I walk through the daily grind of life, I'm terrified that I'll never feel that close to the Lord again. I'm afraid that I've reached the ultimate limit and the rest of my life will be spent simply remembering how close we were during that month of May 2012.

I'm afraid to go deeper because I'm afraid that my God isn't big enough.

I'm sure it sounds silly and a little immature, but when you stop and think about it this is far too often the case. How often do we stop praying the big prayers, the specific prayers, and asking for miracles? I pray passive prayers because passive prayers are "safe" prayers.

So here's to the cognitive recognition of a subconscious and illogical fear that my God isn't big enough, that I've already seen the very best of our relationship. And here's to going deeper anyways.

My Obituary

I was given an assignment in one of my classes to write my obituary, and decided I like it so much it was worthy of sharing. Here's the perfect place to do it...

            Chelsea Renee Ford died last Tuesday, March 16, 2083 at the ripe old age of 92.  She is survived by her three children, Renee, David and Dutch, their spouses, and 11 grandchildren. She died of Alzheimer’s disease. Chelsea was preceded in death by her parents, Dan and Lisa VanderVlucht, her sister, Kayla, her husband and the love of her life, Matthew Ford.

            Born and raised in a small suburb of Toledo, Ohio, Chelsea was always thinking forward into the future. She attended Evangel University and received a bachelor’s degree in Business Management. She set many goals, which she accomplished, including proficiency in piano and fluency in English, French and German. In June of 2014, just a month after graduation, she married Matthew Ford and moved to the church he was working with in the state of Washington.

            In 2017, they sold everything they owned and moved to the Netherlands as missionaries. The following year they started their family. They lived a number of places within Europe before retiring to Brussels, Belgium. She would frequently tell stories of the incredible ways God provided for them and the crazy situations or circumstances they found themselves in. Chelsea loved to learn and had a passion for people. She spent her life investing in those around her believing that God gave her each person as an opportunity to be cherished.

I suspect there will be a number of other things along the way that will be worth mentioning. But for now, on the bottom half of my life's journey, I've decided to let some things be a surprise.