Thursday, February 6, 2014

The Thing About Vulnerability


I’ve been doing some thinking lately, and here’s the thing about being vulnerable… You’re completely vulnerable.

I know. I’m really breaking some new ground here. But just hang with me.

It’s just so counterintuitive to be vulnerable in our society today. In fact, we often take extremely great care to insure that we are not left vulnerable. If you don’t believe me, take a quick look at the insurance industry. There’s insurance for just about anything and everything you could ever possibly need – your car, your phone, your life, your home, you pets, your health, your boat, your snowmobile… You need it, you name it, and someone somewhere is willing to insure it. But there is one thing you won’t find an insurance policy on: your heart. Your physical heart falls under health or medical insurance, yes. But the core of who you are, the part of you that feels joy, sadness, pain or peace, that heart doesn’t come with insurance. It’s left vulnerable.

I believe there is a reason for this. But before we get there, let me share a few other thoughts.

We work diligently to protect our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 even states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” It’s clear we are not to leave our hearts unattended. They are valuable and should be treated as such. But there’s something specifically Proverbs says that can be so easily misconstrued. It commands us to guard it. And my question is from what?

There is a quote by Elizabeth Kubler Ross that has absolutely captivated me. She says,

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

And I have indeed found this to be true. I’m not implying that you require deep pain and affliction before you can be considered beautiful. I take full confidence that Ross isn’t implying that either. I believe the point is the vulnerability. The point is that the pain is not what they fear.

Could it be that in an effort to guard our hearts, we’ve misunderstood the enemy? Could it be that we are to guard our hearts more from what we put in it than what we keep out? Let me explain that last question a little better. I think sometimes we focus on the wrong things. We often look to keep out the pain of heartbreak, the fear of rejection, and the emptiness of loss that all too frequently occur when life doesn’t turn out the way we had hoped. And while I would never suggest someone pursue rejection or loss, I don’t believe they are the greatest enemies of our hearts. Bitterness, unjust anger, lust, and pride – just to name a few – are the true enemies of our hearts. They are what will dilute the wellspring of life. They are the reactions we all too frequently respond with as a result of pain, rejection and loss. And let me briefly add they are not our only options.

But lets get back to my previous questions… Why is vulnerability so important? What is the true value in being vulnerable?

Because in our moments of greatest vulnerability, we are reflecting the image of God in one of its purest forms. Think of the vulnerability of our God. He loves us selflessly and has already given us the greatest gift. And STILL we have choice. He knows the end, that not all will choose to come to Him and STILL He opens Himself up for rejection, for pain, for loss and for heartbreak.

God does not choose to be vulnerable so that we can hurt Him. Instead He chooses to be vulnerable in spite of the fact that we may do so. The point is that the possibility of pain does not cause Him to fear.

There is nothing wrong with buying insurance. By all means, insure your home, your cars and your health. But remember that maybe not all things need insurance. And maybe that is the point.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

How Do You Pray?


Coming into the final semester for my senior year of college, I was overwhelmed with the stresses and responsibilities of graduating. While I am fully aware of the success rate of the billions of people that have graduated college before me, let me also point out that I am facing a lot of the same questions, doubts, anxieties and realities that they too have had to face.

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in prayer lately asking God to provide for me, to lead me to the right job, to know the right path to take, and to open the right doors for me. But the last few days the Lord has been stirring something new in me.

As mentioned in my previous posts, I had a difficult summer in which I regularly had to wrestle a lot of my core fears. Each day I would write out my fears and match each one to a promise the Lord had given me. Because it worked so well I had decided to do something similar as I walked through this season leading up to graduation. I’d only been working through this process for about a week when the Lord showed me that I was praying the wrong prayers.

Let me make a side note here and explain what I mean by the wrong prayers. It wasn’t that I was wrong for praying, or even for praying those prayers. Rather, by praying those prayers I was opening up the conversation for the Lord to direct me in this season. And in doing so, he changed my perspective on how to pray.

He has promised to provide for me. He has promised me that He is good. He has proven to me His faithfulness, and I know His character to be everlasting. Still, I was anxious. So rather than praying and reminding Him of all of His promises to me, He asked me to pray that I would let Him teach me how to rely on Him. It’s not an issue of whether or not I will be provided for. It’s an issue of whether or not I will wait patiently on Him and His timing. It’s not an issue of His faithfulness, but rather my trusting in His faithfulness.

The issue is not Him, it’s me. The question is not, “Will He provide?” but rather, “Do I have what it takes to let Him?”

It’s a scary place. And it’s a very real question. What if I still don’t know what I’m doing by graduation? What if things don’t pan out the way I truly desire them to? What if things look differently than I thought they would? What if they aren’t everything I imagined or dreamed?

Like most things of value, this requires not a solitary decision but a process filled with millions of momentary decisions. It’s choosing His peace over my anxiety, releasing control and RESTING in the fact that it is not in my hands.

I’m not suggesting that we should no longer ask God to provide for us. To my friend with cancer, she should continue praying for healing. To the family member seeking restoration with a loved one, continue asking. Keep praying for the salvation of your close friend or family member. Continue asking Him to lead and guide you and to make your path clear before you. But consider also the prayer of patience for His timing. Consider what it would look like for Him to answer your prayers in His way instead of our own.

Remember that He transcends our logic, our timelines, our concepts of goodness and what is best. He IS wisdom. He IS provision. He IS goodness. He IS what is best. The only remaining question: Do we have what it takes to let Him be these things?