There's a quote by Jim Elliot that says, "Wherever You are, be all there." I've been wrestling with how to handle my present circumstances as I wait for my dreams of a family of my own to come to fruition. Let me pause here to explain that living on Evangel's campus is like being trapped in a Hallmark movie at all times always. There are jokes that are consistently floating around campus to the effect of "a ring by spring," or "people looking for an MRS. Degree." And it makes the challenge of setting down your dreams of marriage and waiting patiently on the Lord's timing feel like it just "leveled up."
I spoke with a friend the other day who mentioned that she is really focusing on being present. It is the last semester of her college career and while she is so very ready for the next season of her life to begin, she is trying her best to enjoy today rather than wishing it away.
I spoke with the wife of the senior pastor at my church here in Springfield within a day of talking with the friend mentioned above. She was giving me some advice to tuck away for when I have a family of my own. She encouraged me to enjoy every season of my children as they will grow up far to quickly on their own. I began to realize even in that moment that in order for this to be a reality in my future, I need to begin to do this today, in this season. It starts with where I am right now.
As I was sitting in our evening chapel service during Spiritual Emphasis week, I was asking the Lord to help me to live in the present. My dreams of a spouse and children are wonderful, but there is something even now that He has for me. There is purpose in this season and aspects about it that are unique to my singleness alone.
As a daily reminder to remain in the present, to be where I am and be all there, I've decided to stop wearing the promise ring my parents bought me as a young girl. It was a symbol of the promise I decided to make to remain pure until marriage. In choosing not to wear it, I haven't suddenly determined to become sexually active or even to change any of my standards. Rather, I realized that after marriage I will never be without a ring on at least one of my fingers (specifically my left ring finger) ever again.
Every time I reach for my finger to adjust the ring I once wore there, or each time I look down and see both hands without a ring, I am reminded that this season will not last for long and that there is purpose and opportunity that is unique to this season alone. And let me tell you that I am reminded at least ten times each day... Before the end of my first class.
The Lord is helping me to understand that though my dreams are good and God-honoring, I need to manage them so they do not distract from the purposes of the present. Let me share that again... Manage your dreams so they don't become a distraction from your present purposes.
Will the dreams go away or even diminish because you've decided to focus your attention elsewhere? No. But there is a balance we need to be aware of so that we remember the purposes of the season we are still in. Don't miss the opportunities of the now, for we aren't guaranteed to remain in them for tomorrow.
It is frustrating and difficult to manage my dreams rather than choosing to wish that my circumstances were different. It is easier to be upset that God's perfect and Heavenly-minded timing doesn't align with my earth-minded preferences. I often wish I didn't battle questions of insecurity, of being too much of something or not enough of another, wondering if my situation would be different if I were more (fill in the blank). I wish I didn't have to battle the discontentment that comes with waiting on the fruition of a dream. It's easier to be frustrated by my circumstances than to manage my dreams in the waiting period. But I rest in the knowledge that upon looking back I will be far more grateful for the times that I chose to manage my dreams than the times I allowed them to distract me from the opportunities in the present.
Like everything else in life, it's a process. We won't always be successful in each attempt. And that's okay. But I encourage you to claim the victories and celebrate the successes rather than focusing on the lack.
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