First the Lord

I took some time a few nights ago to simply abide in the Lord and I’ll tell you that I’ve yet to regret every time I’ve made the opportunity to make this happen. I was talking with Him about my heart, about my future family, and asking Him to prepare me for all that He has for me. So He began to reveal something to me about my heart.

I have been blessed with an incredibly amazing earthly father. My dad is my number one fan, an incredible support to me, an excellent sounding board for all my crazy thoughts and ideas, and the greatest earthly covering and protector my heart has yet to know. He is not perfect, but he gives me his absolute best. We’ve spent a lot of time lately talking about relationships, about what I’m looking for in a spouse, about what it looks like to be pursued, etc. My dad has taught me more about the way a man desires to be respected, to be trusted to provide, and how it is truly a good man’s intention to protect his wife and his family. He has told me that one of the very best things I can do someday in my marriage is to give my husband the benefit of the doubt. This does not mean that my husband will be perfect or that there will not come times that I’ll have to communicate ways my heart has been hurt. But this does mean that when I come to him, it would honor him for me to remember that he did not try to hurt me, that his ultimate goal is to protect me, and that he didn’t do this intentionally.

As I was spending time with the Lord that night He began to reveal to me that in order for me to be successful in this concept with my husband someday, I must first be able to trust Him like this. It was revolutionary and completely brilliant! If I cannot trust my Savior to provide for me, to protect me, to have my best interest in mind, and to love me unconditionally I will never be able to do this with an imperfect human. And that’s okay that no human will get it perfect. I will not be perfect either. But my God is true and constant. He will never fail me. It will not always feel this way, and I won’t always be able to see the big picture in the difficult moments. And yet, I can know and trust in His character.

This extends beyond trust. If I do not believe the voice of the Lord when He speaks to my heart of value, of beauty, or the way He cherishes me, then how can I expect to believe it myself or when another person tells me? If I cannot forgive God for the times that it feels that I was held out on, I will have extreme difficulty forgiving others. If I cannot accept the love of my perfect King, I will never be able to rest in the love of a friend, of a husband, or of a family member.

This is not a one time fix. It’s not a quick fix either. Often we don’t believe these things because we’ve been told otherwise. If we’re really being honest, there isn’t a person on this earth without baggage of some kind. My guess is you’ve already had some of yours brought to the forefront of your mind in the time it took you to read to this point. There are some of us with more baggage than others, but we all carry or have carried it at some point.

I encourage you to ask of the Lord for healing. Request restoration. I promise you it is His desire to bring it to you. If you don’t believe me, check out the Bible. It’s not only the overall theme but interwoven into every single story. It’s the journey of freedom.